Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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