Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
