Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
