Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
