apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
