Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My ass is underappreciated
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize