hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
