you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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