marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
