I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
