My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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