Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
