Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
