do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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