did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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