So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
