i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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