You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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