That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
