ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
