i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The beer is more important than you right now.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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