his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
BRING THE BAGELS
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
