Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize