my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
