took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
