we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
