is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
