D3 body, D1 cock
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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