I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize