CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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