Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
