Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
