I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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