his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
