I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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