So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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