I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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