So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
