thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
