remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
