why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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