yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
