He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
