is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I miss vodka workout Fridays
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
