I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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