There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
