God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
