yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
