How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
