yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
