thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
