I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
