Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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