Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
