Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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