Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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