I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You are a genius and a whore.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
