Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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