Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just high enough for therapy.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
