where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
