Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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