honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
