So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
