She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
