I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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