dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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