is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
