Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
