I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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